Today I went to visit my grandmother Thelma in the hospital. She has cancer and is on the verge of walking into the presence of Jesus. My grandmother is one of those woman that has made a huge impact in my life. She was a very Godly woman and she loved Jesus so much. I will miss the times we spent at her trailer playing football in the big field, opening Christmas presents in their little living room, going down the zip line in the woods, and so much more. But as much as I will miss her, I have a great peace that Jesus, mom-mom’s personal Savior, is waiting to welcome her into the Kingdom that she has dreamed about. She is getting ready to walk into the presence of the One that has loved her beyond measure…beyond anything she has ever experienced. Mom-mom, we are all going to miss you, but thank you for a life well spent. Thank you for loving Jesus and always writing verses in our cards. You have truly loved Jesus and followed Him to the end of your days. I love you.

Your Last Moments With Us

Today I saw you stepping on,
Even though it feels like the end,
It is just a new dawn,
As you head just around the bend.

I thought of how I’d see you no more,
Of how you loved us all,
Of how each one of us you adore,
Of how we thought you never would fall.

But even with the many sorrow,
This sense of peace I feel is odd,
And that we all may see you tomorrow,
I know you are walking to your God.

So as you go and see your Savior,
We will miss you very much,
We thank you for all your labor,
And will never forget your touch.

Thank you mom-mom for loving Jesus and showing Him to us. We see you in a little while.

I have had this weight on my heart for a little while now and can not walk away from it.  It seems that almost everything I read or listen to keeps saying the same thing…Love Jesus.  I’ve been working through the fact that I can say that I would die for Jesus but can will I do that our of love or duty.  See so many things in my life have been for the pure fact that I am “supposed” to do something.  Don’t get angry.  Don’t drink beer.  Don’t offend people.  But for what?  Why would I obey these “rules”?  I ask myself, without admitting, what is my duty?  Now Jesus calls us to obedience but obedience from a heart of love.  Obedience without love is easy because we are “in control”.  Obedience from love is easy because it is freeing.  It is freeing to know that I am walking with Jesus.  I’m not getting angry because when I get angry it hurts the heart of my Savior.

So I am called to love Jesus….I pray that Jesus keeps me from trying to turn love into duty.

Only Jesus can cause my wretched heart to love Him…to seek Him….and obey Him.  Only Jesus can take this muddied water and turn it into living water.

Jesus, please help me to love you…that I may be free to enjoy you…and free to obey.

Just wanted to let everyone know that the Desiring God conference is coming up in September.

Desiring God Conference Link

I’m sorry it has been a little while since my last post.  Life has been a little crazy and I can just be a slacker sometimes.

What I would like to talk about this morning comes from Ephesians 1:16-17.  Through the whole chapter we see that Paul is telling the Ephesians that he is praying for them.  Now the thing I really want to dig into is verse 17.  Paul states that he is praying that God will give them a spirit of wisdom and revelation so that you may know him better.  I’ll tell you what…I want nothing more than to know Jesus better.  Now in all reality, by myself, I will not go after Christ…I will not seek after him…and I won’t in the end know Him better.  My heart is prone to wonder…prone to “know” someone or something else better.

So my encouragement and my prayer is that God will give you and myself a spirit of wisdom and revelation.  I want to encourage you to pray that for your life…Pray in faith that God will be the One to move in you…the One to change you…the One that will bring you into a deeper relationship with your Savior.

Thank you Jesus.

I apologize for the little bit of coding in some of the journey entries aka </br>. I imported the entries from another blog program. I am trying to clean them all up. Just wanted to keep everyone posted on what that junk was. Thanks

A friend and I were talking this morning about how big God is in our heads and how big He truly is. It kind of scared me a bit as we talked about putting God in a box and I thought that I do that all the time. I limit in my head the ways that God can work. I limit the amount of things that He could actually accomplish. Who am I to limit the all powerful God of the universe?

We started to dig in and talk about how evil and good coexist in this world. How we are redeemed but still live in the consequences of sin.(stole that line from www.desiringgod.com)

So now I am trying to put together in my head how things come together. How tragedy is used by God and where He is in the midst of that tragedy. I don’t really have a ton of answers at the this point, but like this website states, I am on a journey with Christ and hope that as I pursue answers and insight, I will draw closer to Him.

I want to share something that has been on my heart and has really been digging at my heart. It is the constant communication with God. Now I read something about this, but I have to confess that I forget who wrote it…sorry. If I remember I’ll let you know.
But it was talking about bringing everything, I mean everything, before God. Sometimes, we see a need and immediately jump. We don’t take time to just talk with God about it. So, I’ve been trying to take everything before God. If I am thinking about saying something to someone or bringing something up at a leaders meeting, I present it to God to see if and what He really wants me to say.

This is a very freeing thing. It leads to better communion with God and builds on that relationship, but also protects us from the worrying about whether what we said was right. I hope this makes sense.

So, I encourage you to take everything before God. Build that communion. Develop that relationship. I want my relationship with Christ to be one where He integrates into every area of my life and is not just someone I bring “big decisions” to. I want to live with Him and know Him.

Philippians 3:10 - That I may know Him and the power of His resurrection.

This morning I took a quick look at Revelation 2:4 where Chirst is talking to the church of Ephesus and states that what He has against them is that they had left their first love.
I started thinking about where I was at…am I still in love with my first love…Jesus? You know the church of Ephesus was doing many great things. Christ talks about all the things they were doing that were “spiritually” correct. But they weren’t doing them out of the love for Christ.

Where does my desire to do right come from? Why do I help with the youth of our church? Why do I tell other struggling Christians that I’ll pray for them?

Is this for my glory?…or is it out of pure love for Christ?

So many times I find myself wandering from my first love. I pursue other things or I do things for my own glory and pride. I want my heart to be so enthralled with Jesus that everything I do has His best interests in mind. I want to desire to love people, give of myself, lead youth ministries, all for the glory and love of Christ.

Jesus,

I pray that you will help me to love you with everything I have. I pray that your would stay my first love and my fortress that I run too. Jesus, I pray that everything I say, think, and do glorifies You.

Amen

This morning, I just wanted to share something I was thinking about. I was just thinking about the fact that Jesus forgives. We go our own way so many times and just punch Jesus in the face, but He continues to seek after us and when we finally come back to Him…He is ready to forgive. You know one of the things that I share with my youth group is the fact that every single time I sin…I am taking up that hammer and pounding that nail deeper into the hands and feet of Christ…that hurts. It cuts to the inner part of my soul to know that it is my sin that kept Jesus on that cross. It is a sobering thought.<br />
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But Christ…knowing all this…knowing that I would continually pound those nails deeper…chose to stay on that cross. The Son of God who could have called 10,000 angels to take Him down from that cross chose to endure for you and me.<br />
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Thank you Jesus.<br />
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Let this sink deep and change us.